Real Women Don’t Body Shame Other Women
I had quite an astounding revelation today. I realized that I am a real woman. Now, before you laugh your head off with a “doh” to go with that, let me explain.
Sometimes when we are in the process of spiritual growth and transformation (which might be physical too, but not necessarily) we have a lot of revelations along the way. Most of these revelations are positive; some of them help us overcome limiting beliefs that we have been harbouring since childhood. One of these revelations for me happened shortly after my journey to a healthier body started in 2015. I realized that I am worthy of everything this life has to offer. I realized that my body type and the way that I look doesn’t make me less worthy of love, less creative in my life pursuits or any less able of stepping into my true divinity as a human being.
I think a lot of it comes with middle age and the realization that you are literally half way to dead! It is the universe’s way of slapping you into consciousness with the words: “Listen, you silly woman, I am not messing around, your time is running out and there is still a shitload you need to do. Stop sweating the small stuff and get to work already!” So I am very grateful about the revelations I have received and that are still coming my way.
But sometimes, as we are growing and transforming at a rapid rate, albeit with a lot of pain and resistance, we often still manage to get it bitterly wrong. We take our newfound knowledge and empowerment and we step into self-righteousness! Embracing my shape and developing a positive body image pushed me to look for validations outside of myself – not very clever for a woman who has been slapped into consciousness! Which lead to referring to myself as a real woman. You know, the curvy types with REAL bodies who eat REAL food, wear REAL clothes and are adored by REAL men who know the difference between a model on a photoshopped magazine cover and a REAL woman. I even discovered 2 images on my Facebook albums with the text: "Skinny girls are for wimps" and "A woman without curves is like jeans without pockets - you never know where to put your hands"! What were I thinking?!
I am the first to admit that we live in a society with a very narrow standard of beauty and we are bombarded with images of what the ideal body and woman should look like according to those standards. But as much as I want to be an activist and a role model for women with curves, I don’t want to do that at the expense of ANY other woman who does not fit that mold. Truth be told, if you have a vagina, you are a real woman. And therein lies my mind blowing revelation – I am a real woman, not because I have curves or because I feel generally good about my body, and myself but because I have the anatomy of a woman! And that is all the reason I need to call myself a REAL woman. Let’s ditch the phrase, “real women” because stating the obvious is so boring
What is more, I know so many amazing and endearing women who are thin and some who have incredible bodies that they work very hard at and none of them are skinny bitches! So my sisters, let us not forget what make us REAL women – our primal ability to flock together and forge incredible bonds that exceed size and body image. We are real women because we were created with the ability to be incredibly compassionate and nurturing. Let us use those precious traits to lift each other up, inspire and support with the empathy that all (real) women have.